In many of the baby sleep problem cases I have consulted on, the baby wakes during the night and can’t get themselves back to sleep without the assistance of a parent. There are many possible reasons for this like not being able to find their dodi. However, in many cases the baby simply needs reassurance that their parent(s) are there, so reassure them that you are. Let them know that you are in your bedroom not very far away. Obviously this only works for older babies that can understand you. So let them know that if they want to check that you are there they can come into your room and see you are asleep in your bedroom. Your baby may never actually come into your room and see you there but if they do they’ll soon have the reassurance that you’re never to far away and not bother coming in anymore.
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Recommended for parents experiencing settling issues and/or frequent night awakenings. Includes a tailored step-by-step plan.Single Consultation
Recommended for parents who want to discuss and overcome minor sleep issues with their baby or young child.1st Year of Sleep
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Here is what Baby Sleep Academy customers had to say:
Hilda & Robbi
Before we met Edel were we completely exhausted and at our wits end, up every night at least 7 times with our son. Within about 10 days Dylan was happy in his cot and slept 12 hours straight! We couldn't speak more highly of Edel and she was such a fantastic person to deal with.*
Lesley
Without Edel’s help and support I know I certainly wouldn’t be in a home with two very happy & content boys that sleep all night and thrive on their routine each day. She always understood how I felt. We would highly recommend Edel as a baby sleep consultant – she’s amazing!!*
Muireann
I had no time to myself the entire day and despite being a new Mom and being told that this time was unpredictable I knew in my gut that it was wrong. We put our faith in Edel’s expertise in terms of sleep and we weren't disappointed. With the constant doubt we felt as new parents she was able to point us in the right direction.*
* The testimonials appearing on this site were actually received via e-mail submission. They are individual experiences, reflecting real life experiences of those who have used our services. They are individual results and results do vary. We do not claim that they are typical results. Testimonial Disclaimer
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I have a 2.5 yr old who wakes up 1-4 times a night doing the above. He literally comes in and just wants one of us to just walk him back into his room and lie with him in bed.
Hi Edel
You need to ask yourself how is he going to sleep in the evening, do you have to stay with him? If you do when he awakes during the night he will expect you to be in his room and go looking for you if you are not. This association will need to be broken. If this is not the situation, please email me as to how he goes to sleep at night and how long he naps during the day. You can email me at info@babysleepacademy.ie
Kind Regards
Edel
Hi Edel.
I have 7 months twins who are breastfed. Had been sleeping from 8/9 ish to 6/7ish but now are waking 2/3 times in that time (each)! They are not necessarily waking eachother. They won’t take a bottle or a soother. I don’t like to leave them settle themselves incase they wake the other and I couldn’t put them in separate rooms. They are still in the same cot but will be separated soon. Any advice?
Hi Fiona
Thank you for your post.
Firstly you should make sure they are not overtired going to sleep as if they are they can wake frequently during the night. I would say 8/9 is too late for a child of this age to go to bed you should probably aim for 7pm if possible. Secondly look at how you put them to sleep, do you stay in the room with them? Do they fall asleep elsewhere and then you move them? Are they falling asleep while you feed them? When a child goes to sleep they expect everything to be the same when they wake up. All babies wake during the night, mostly just for a second or two, problems arise when they are not able to resettle themselves, this usually occurs when something has changed, i.e. they are not in the same place as they were when they fell asleep, you’re not there, etc. If you woke during the night and dicovered your partner wasn’t in the bed you would become more awake and wonder where is he?? It’s the same for the child.
I know it is difficult when you have twins and you don’t want one to wake the other, however for a few nights of pain you can sort out the issues. Always be reassurining in your approach, be confident in your plan on how you are going to change things, stick with it for at least a week and write down each night how things went so you can track your progress.
Keep us posted,
Edel
Hi Edel.
I have a 19 month old girl who will not go to sleep in the cot for me at night, I have tried the controlled crying method(which I hate and find hard to do) for 3 nights and she feel asleep after 20/35/40 minutes on each night. But I would love to know how to put her to sleep with her crying herself to sleep. She just doesn’t seem to want to lie down and relax! Any advice is much appreciated? If I lie down with her, it still takes her 30-40 mins and not something I want to start doing.
She also wakes during the night for a bottle, which I am trying to wean her off, I have cut the bottle to 4 ozs and plan to eventually just stop! Is this the right approach?
Hi Rose,
Well it could be a number of issues, the first thought that springs to mind is, is she overtired or not tired enough? Both of these can be the cause of her not settling at night. If she is overtired then the brain releases chemicals to keep her fighting sleep so it can take much longer for the child to settle, this could also be the cause of her waking up during the night. If she is not tired enough then you are also fighting a losing battle as there is no point putting a child to bed if they are not tired.
Could your child be afraid of the cot due to controlled crying? Does your child start to cry when she is placed in the cot or just when you leave the room? If she cries when placed in the cot then she does not like her cot and you need to change this association.
Do you have a good bedtime routine? This is vital at this stage as the child needs to know when bedtime is. When you sort out the bedtime issue, this may in turn sort out her awakenings during the night.
Please understand that I am not an advocate of controlled crying as I believe this can cause more problems than it solves. If you are to use the controlled crying method I’m afraid I cannot be of assistance. However if you would like learn other methods I would welcome you to contact me and discuss alternatives. These alternatives focus on building confidence and attachment with your child.
It may be useful to look at a recent blog “How to Put Baby to Sleep”.
Kind Regards
Edel
Hello Edel,
I have a 14 week old baby who is exclusively breastfed. She went to bed and self-settled well at an early age (she was a very big birth weight and born 2 weeks late), fed twice very peacefully. For the last 3 weeks things have got worse – she generally feeds only once (I started to express to bottle-feed her before 7pm bedtime so I could be confident she wasn’t waking due to hunger – I tended to always feed her if she woke and this made things worse). But, she wakes and screams frequently before her approx. 4am feed, and again once or twice after it. It isn’t hunger, wind, etc – I follow your ‘How to put baby to sleep’ guidelines, we have a lovely bedtime routine. I can’t understand what has changed! She sleeps so well from 7pm until around midnight, then cried each hour, sometimes without resettling at all between. A couple of times she has gone until 3 or 4 (once 5,30) without waking or feeding, but not in the past 2 weeks. What am I suddenly doing wrong? Thank you
Hi Rachael
It is around this stage that babies develop sleep cycles, up until now she would have always been in a light sleep. Now she is changing from light (REM) sleep to deep sleep (non-REM). When this happens a baby will spend the first 3/4 hours in deep sleep and then usually from 11pm to 5am they change cycles regularly. When babies (well everyone) change cycles they awake briefly. Babies can be very noisy sleepers, they can cry, moan babble etc in their sleep. Therefore it is very important that you don’t respond too quickly to a cry as this will prevent her from being able to resettle herself to sleep. I would always advise that you count to 10 before you go to her. If after 10 her cry has escalated then go to her. If she is properly waking and upset between each sleep cycle, you will need to see what her sleep associations are, does she use a soother, does she fall asleep with a mobile on, etc., etc. If you are confident that she does not have any negative sleep association you should look at her daytime routine and make sure she is not overtired going to bed as if she is every time she changes sleep cycle and awakes she will fight sleep.
Good luck,
Edel
Hi Nicola
Ohh Nicola this is the age old problem of negative sleep associations. It is difficult to break a sleep association and you need a lot of patience. It looks like your little man has 2 associations with sleep, one being your hand and the other the bottle. Every time he changes sleep cycles he needs these associations to go back to sleep, this is why you are up frequently during the night. When you change these and he learns to fall asleep by himself without a bottle or you in the room then you will get a night’s sleep.
When tackling this, put a plan together for yourself (be careful you don’t introduce other negative associations), psyche yourself up, be reassuring to him and give yourself time. You will need to be confident, patient and persistent and you will solve the problem.
Good luck,
Edel
I’ve a 16 month old who never slept more than 4 1/2 hours in his life! He’s a dodi and co sleeps with me he could drink 4 or 5 boy of juice per night
Hi Nicky
Thank you for your comment. At 16 months your little boy should be able to sleep at least 10 hours at night. As he is wakening so frequently is a sign he has developed some sleep dependencies. As you are co-sleeping you are 1 dependency, but as you are with him during the night this dependency is met therefore this is not the reason he is wakening. From what you mention it looks like his real sleep issue is bottles. Although he has a soother he prefers the bottle therefore when he fully rouses during the night the soother isn’t enough to settle him and needs the bottle as he is unable to get a bottle for himself your assistance is required. For your little boy to sleep well he will need to learn how to go and return to sleep without the use of any bottles. To do this you will need to employ a sleep training technique. It will take time and patience but with consistency you will get him there. If you would like my assistance please feel free to phone me and I will be happy to arrange a consultation.
Best Regards
Edel Gargan